At that time in my life the only reading that I was doing about open relationships was in the form of erotic fiction. Looking back, I know that I didn’t get a well-rounded introduction to the subject, but I sure did become convinced that it would be an extremely fun way to live.
Another year passed and I had the same mindset, but hadn’t learned anything new about open relationships. Thoughts of the relationship that I had been in and the erotic stories that I’d read were the extent of my relationships thoughts. Something new did happen though. I discovered online erotic fiction at that time in my life. Just as before, my mind continued to open to new erotic possibilities.
By then I was 18 and in my senior year of high school. I was also old enough to enter adult toy stores for the first time in my life. I went to my first one in a small city that was about an hour away from the South Louisiana town that I grew up in. While in there I was amazed by all of the toys and videos, but something caught my eye that I didn’t expect to see. It was a small black and white local magazine titled Bayou Swingers. There was writing on the cover claiming that the small publication contained an impressive number of personal ads from local couples and singles that were seeking sex partners. I didn’t know that swinger’s magazines filled with personal ads existed, much less a local one servicing the Bayou region. I became quite curious to see what the couples were looking for, and also wondered if I’d recognize anyone. It’s likely that 30 thousand people lived in the southern half of the parish that I lived in, back then, but the feeling that we knew just about everyone was quite common. I was thrilled at the possibility of seeing an attractive couple that I knew posting an ad for a threesome. Also, to be honest, I actually didn’t purchase the magazine with the intent of replying to the ads. I was just eager to peek and fulfill my curiosities.
I didn’t even wait till I made it home to start flipping through it. I pulled out the staples as soon as I was in my car. I was thrilled to see sexy pictures and personals ads placed by real people. I was even more thrilled to see that most of them were in relationships and open to exploring sexually with others. This was all drastically different from what I had been taught about relationships, and what I had seen, but I was happy to see that real people were living in open relationships, and not just characters in stories.
A few months later I started dating again. I was 19 by then and had been seeing a young woman that lived in the same neighborhood. I told her about my interest in open relationships. She didn’t share the same exact perspective with me, but she was also open-minded and not set on monogamy. In fact, she explored with another woman while I wasn’t around, but she still said that she couldn’t understand how I could be ok with her having sex with another guy. She didn’t argue the point much though. It wasn’t a big issue for her. I reassured her that I wouldn’t mind, and I left it at that. I didn’t want to be pushy.
A few more months passed and it was summer. I was single again. I broke up with her for reasons other than sex. I suppose that I was quite confident that summer and felt that I had lots of options in life and things to pursue. I went about my summer being ambitious and working towards goals. All went well.
Another three years passed. By then, I was talking openly to my buddies about my radical ideas. They listened, but none of them agreed, at least not yet. That didn’t happen until a few years later. Anyway, one afternoon I was visiting with one of my buddies and his Uncle Roy. I can’t remember how, but the subject of open relationships and threesomes came up. I told his Uncle Roy about about the Bayou Swingers magazine that I had purchased. His Uncle Roy wasn’t all that surprised. He said that he’d known couples with open relationships, but not many. He also admitted that he’d talked to his wife about it, but that she didn’t want to try it. He went on to tell us about a big website that he had found which contained thousands of personals ads for people interested in all sorts of open relationships, swapping, 1 on 1 sex, group relationships, and more. The website that he told us about was Adult Friend Finder. I didn’t know it yet, but finding out about Adult Friend Finder was going to open more doors for me in my explorations.