My Beginnings part 2

At that time in my life the only reading that I was doing about open relationships was in the form of erotic fiction.  Looking back, I know that I didn’t get a well-rounded introduction to the subject, but I sure did become convinced that it would be an extremely fun way to live.

Another year passed and I had the same mindset, but hadn’t learned anything new about open relationships.  Thoughts of the relationship that I had been in and the erotic stories that I’d read were the extent of my relationships thoughts.  Something new did happen though.  I discovered online erotic fiction at that time in my life.  Just as before, my mind continued to open to new erotic possibilities.

By then I was 18 and in my senior year of high school.  I was also old enough to enter adult toy stores for the first time in my life.  I went to my first one in a small city that was about an hour away from the South Louisiana town that I grew up in.  While in there I was amazed by all of the toys and videos, but something caught my eye that I didn’t expect to see.  It was a small black and white local magazine titled Bayou Swingers.  There was writing on the cover claiming that the small publication contained an impressive number of personal ads from local couples and singles that were seeking sex partners.  I didn’t know that swinger’s magazines filled with personal ads existed, much less a local one servicing the Bayou region.  I became quite curious to see what the couples were looking for, and also wondered if I’d recognize anyone.  It’s likely that 30 thousand people lived in the southern half of the parish that I lived in, back then, but the feeling that we knew just about everyone was quite common.  I was thrilled at the possibility of seeing an attractive couple that I knew posting an ad for a threesome.  Also, to be honest, I actually didn’t purchase the magazine with the intent of replying to the ads.  I was just eager to peek and fulfill my curiosities.

I didn’t even wait till I made it home to start flipping through it.  I pulled out the staples as soon as I was in my car.  I was thrilled to see sexy pictures and personals ads placed by real people.  I was even more thrilled to see that most of them were in relationships and open to exploring sexually with others.  This was all drastically different from what I had been taught about relationships, and what I had seen, but I was happy to see that real people were living in open relationships, and not just characters in stories.

A few months later I started dating again.  I was 19 by then and had been seeing a young woman that lived in the same neighborhood.  I told her about my interest in open relationships.  She didn’t share the same exact perspective with me, but she was also open-minded and not set on monogamy.  In fact, she explored with another woman while I wasn’t around, but she still said that she couldn’t understand how I could be ok with her having sex with another guy.  She didn’t argue the point much though.  It wasn’t a big issue for her.  I reassured her that I wouldn’t mind, and I left it at that.  I didn’t want to be pushy.

A few more months passed and it was summer.  I was single again.  I broke up with her for reasons other than sex.  I suppose that I was quite confident that summer and felt that I had lots of options in life and things to pursue.  I went about my summer being ambitious and working towards goals.  All went well.

Another three years passed.  By then, I was talking openly to my buddies about my radical ideas.  They listened, but none of them agreed, at least not yet.  That didn’t happen until a few years later.  Anyway, one afternoon I was visiting with one of my buddies and his Uncle Roy.  I can’t remember how, but the subject of open relationships and threesomes came up.  I told his Uncle Roy about about the Bayou Swingers magazine that I had purchased.  His Uncle Roy wasn’t all that surprised.  He said that he’d known couples with open relationships, but not many.  He also admitted that he’d talked to his wife about it, but that she didn’t want to try it.  He went on to tell us about a big website that he had found which contained thousands of personals ads for people interested in all sorts of open relationships, swapping, 1 on 1 sex, group relationships, and more.  The website that he told us about was Adult Friend Finder.  I didn’t know it yet, but finding out about Adult Friend Finder was going to open more doors for me in my explorations.

My Beginnings part 1

I began to consider open relationships to be a possible option in my life at the young age of 17.  A year-long intimate relationship with my first love had just ended a few months earlier.  I spent many months following that relationship wondering how I could have done things differently.  One thing that stood out to me was that I had been a jealous partner at times.  I hadn’t shown it often, but I knew exactly how much I had worried about her having too much fun flirting with others, and the possibility of her cheating on me with those “fun” guys because they were more fun than I was.  I certainly had regrets about feeling that way.  I started to think how much better things would have been if I had just kept smiling and remained positive throughout it all.

That’s not where the tipping point was for me though.  What opened my eyes was when my best friend told me later that she had suggested to him that what he needed was “just a fuck buddy”, and he felt that she was making a pass at him.  It just so happened by the time he told me this I had started reading erotic stories again.  I hadn’t read them in a few years.  This time I stumbled across stories of men enjoying watching their wife with another man.  Those types of stories struck a note with me big time.  One of the reasons that they did was because back when I felt jealous (even about her masturbating), I also felt curious.  I wondered how things really were for her, or how they would actually be for her if she experienced being with someone else.  So, the “curious mindset” was already part of my sexuality.  I was able to understand why those husbands enjoyed watching so much.

As time passed I couldn’t help but wonder what it would have been like if I had offered for her to have sex with my best friend, who she was suggestive to, or maybe with one of the guys that she flirted with at school.  After that realization I continued reading erotic fiction that covered many different types of heterosexual male fantasies.  My mind continued to open to more possibilities.

The Voyage Begins

For the last couple of years I’ve been writing about open relationships on various adult forums.  It’s been fun and I’ve learned a bit, but I’ve realized that I’m just scattering out helpful information that I could be posting in one place.  So, here it is, the beginning of my blog about open relationships.  I’m no expert on open relationships, but I feel that I’ve gained some insight over the last decade that is well worth sharing.  My experience ranges from swinging to polyamory, and I’d like to share a bit about what I’ve learned.  Also, I’ve located many valuable resources online that I’d like to tell others about.  I’m planning to discuss various websites and books on open relationships and post links to them here.  As time passes I’d like to see this site become a valuable resource itself.